Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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