You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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