There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
