It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My penis needs a shock collar
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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