apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
