oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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