I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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