I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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