Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You smell like stripper and shame
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
