i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
