your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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