id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
