I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You've changed since you got that strap on
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
