I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
