Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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