Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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