I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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