just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
