how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
