i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I understand Curling. That high.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
