Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
