I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
