I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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