I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
