Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
