i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
