I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
