Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
