She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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