Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
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