So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
