Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
