yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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