There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
