I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
