so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
