double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
