for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
