I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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