I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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