Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
