That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
