Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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