don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
