How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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