Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
