remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
