I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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