Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
