I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
