Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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