what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
