Redeem this text for a blowjob
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
